Recently, I have built a wall of words that separates the thorns from the blooms of possibility. The wall enables me to defend my right to be happy, make mistakes, and use time as it works best for me. The wall is comprised of eight words and the concept of  faith. The words are, “I’ll figure it out when I get there”.

I don’t have to worry how I will find the rest of my story so I can finish my novel, I don’t have to worry if the words make sense, I don’t have angst over the colors in my paintings”. I only have to show up and do one action. Draw one line, or write one word and from there, the rest will follow. That’s the faith part. Here’s an example. I write one word. From this word I make an association and write a second word, followed by another association and a third word. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. The inner editor (whether it is writing, painting, composing music etc.) will see the words and unconsciously turn them into something understandable. That’s what our minds do. Eventually there will be a thought and then a sentence. For example, I write the word “swallow” which reminds me of the bird. I picture its curved wings and see them slice the air leaving no lines. I link the words: bird, wing, line. A word jumps out, “history”. Then the thought, how easy it would be if we could fly through life as easily as the swallow and leave no lines behind, no history, no baggage. What would that feel like, how would life  be different? Ahh, I have my topic…

Does this always work? No. Sometimes I forget that all I have to do is show up and think of one word, one thought, one image. Sometimes I can hardly get myself to sit still. But always, I’ve learned, that once I show up I will be taken care of if I simply make an attempt. Not every attempt is a keeper, but every attempt brings me closer to a keeper. We all want to be self expressed. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. However, I know if I show up and don’t give up, but keep going, even in a small way, eventually I will have chapters and one day a book.

Tell me what keeps you putting one foot in front of the other, how you begin when you don’t know where to begin, how you found the way to do these things. Strength is in numbers and so is wisdom.

My process of acceptance is too often one of reacting,  demanding answers to soothe my inability to comprehend, and flailing in a free fall of emotions that have only one redeeming feature– to point out the work I have yet to do to become my best self.  As my mother said, “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” I don’t want to skin anything especially a cat, but I do want a Plan B to catch  anxiety when my agenda is  grounded and  take off  is in a sketchy direction. Plan B requires trusting my instincts, faith, positivity, and an open mind–seat belts of sorts to insure a safe landing. I use a seat belt in my car in case of an accident, why wouldn’t I use one to insure the success of my life?

Accepting that the only substitute to a sidelined Plan A is an alternate plan, underscores the primary importance of Plan B. But Plan B offers something else other than a modified way to achieve a goal.  The challenge of new circumstances  stimulates personal growth. I  stretch my thinking, I make room for new ideas, I increase my confidence, and I have more fun knowing that when I graciously accept what is, without irritation or expectation,  life flows with an inner calm, it’s easier, and an “I can do this” attitude surfaces. It’s not easy but it is simple. And keeping things simple is good. In fact that might be plan C.

Holding each painting today was for me, the same as looking into the hearts of the young artists I greeted and worked with yesterday. It’s humbling to be in a room filled with youthful exuberance, expectations that supersede logic, and an inner wisdom most of us don’t acquire without decades of experiences. How grateful I am for the chance to teach and be taught by these kids. Because of these children my today was perfect-I was present to my life and I was humbled by the love that emanated from the kids and the friendships they forge. Some friendships have endured for years others are recently made. Today I found  life, or maybe it found me among the reverie of laughter and the mess of paint, glitter, soggy paper towels, hairdryers madly drying canvases, well-used Sharpies and the meaningful thoughts of  excited happy campers.

The kids were asked to complete any one (or more) of the following thoughts:

When I grow up I want to…, I love…, What I have learned most from camp is… If I could do anything I would…

I’d like to share some of the responses.

“When I grow up I want to make people happy.”

“When I grow up I want to be President of the United States.”

“If I could do anything I would buy all the Legos I want.”

“I love camp because it’s HOME.”

“What I learned most at camp is I am not alone.”

So why does this impact me so much? Because all the children have cancer or leukemia. What ever it is  I do, is dwarfed by the phenomenal attitudes of these kids. It is truly an honor and a blessing in my life to know these spectacular children and I love them all.

** The name of the camp is One Step at a Time Camp.

PerficalSense Studio  1127 Florence

Evanston, Illinois  60202

Call PerficalSense Studio to enroll:

847 316 1900
Students will learn a brief history of mosaics, classic mosiac patterns and terminology, how to properly use cutting tools, cutting methods, how to set tile, glass, and for intermediates other objects, properties of different adhesives, grouting, cleaning, polishing, and other juicy hints on composition, design and use of color.Beginning and Intermediate Mosaics

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah’s Ark:

One: Don’t miss the boat.

Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Three: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

Four: Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

Six: Build your future on high ground.

Seven: For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

Eight: Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

Nine: When you’re stressed, float a while.

Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Tricky question, since in my opinion we are grownup (or as far as we’re getting) when we take our last breath. I do know that wherever we are in life we can always add on and expand what we know, what we do, and what we think. I LOVE THIS! It’s exhilarating to be in the process of life and I am grateful to be an active participant.